down and out

currently listening to: time spent driving - leaving

the past few weeks solidified my belief that you just cant be happy all the time. you can be sad most of the time...but never happy all the time. life sucks. it does. alam niyo ba yung feeling na masaya ka na nga...tapos biglang may mangyayari tapos marerealize mo, di pala ok. lousy. i dont feel alive at all. i just plain stopped trying.

time spent driving - leaving

Not quite alone, not quite in company.
Not quite with you, though so unwithout you
I try not to say too much, feeling distanced.
I try not to say too much, the distance destroys what I am.
Just so you know. (just so you know) I just plain stopped trying.
Just so you know. (just so you know) I made up my mind and
Not quite myself, not quite anyone
Not quite in love, yet drowning in your love.
Your love drowns out who I am.
Just so you know, (just so you know)
I just plain stopped trying.
Just so you know, (just so you know)
I made up my mind and I'm leaving you.
I don't feel alive, at all. (I don't feel at all)
I don't feel alive at all.

looong and winding road...

currently listening to: violent playground - moist

gerdamit! layo pala ng GB3 dito sa office ko. i parked my car in berdy's mom's office today. whew! lupet ng lakad. hehehe! pero, sige, ayus na rin...para kahit pano, may exercise ako. umagang umaga, monday na monday inaantok na ako. dammit!

this week is gonna be damn busy at work...i just hope i make it through...nafefeel ko na yung pressure. dammit.

teka..intermission ulit...time for a song again...

from miles away
- the rocking horse winner

with every touch i melt into the snow. can you feel it? from rooftops see where dreams will lead. another life far from here, see it in your eyes, the stars lie there. can you fly with me?through this cosmic collision. super nova. when two hearts collide, shining from inside. super nova.

i feel it, in every word you say. you'll be my star. just like a stellar transmission from miles away. so take a ride with me out there. leave it all behind. a december dream started with you. can you hear me calling you? fall into your arms. take you away from here.

super. nova. quiet. hold on. breathe in. exhale. can you feel it? steady. in motion fly. can you feel us? we're about to super nova.

**you know this is for you...whoever you are, you know who you are. ;)

palm beach gig

currently listening to: keahiwai - falling

last night, we had a gig at palm beach at the fort. it was one helluva partee alright. the food was really great...(lobsters, ducks, king crabs, haagen daaz ice cream cakes...san ka pa?!). thanks celine for a great partee.

rivermaya also played that night. lupet talaga ni rico...kopyang kopya si brandon boyd. gerdamit! mga pinoy nga naman...walang originality talaga. sayang kasi i really admire the way he writes songs, arranges them and how they sound/play live but the way he moves...daaaaamn...meron pang usher moves! bwahahaha! sagwa pare. pati nga si bamboo kinopya eh. hahaha! leche!

nevertheless, astig pa rin yung pagkain. panalong panalo. :D

thanks berds and pow for watching. :D

what?! no more rain?!

currently listening to: the rocking horse winner - when songbirds sing

huwaaaaaaaat?!?!?!?!?! the rain stopped na. :( haaay..i just wish it would stay the same until i get back home later. hassle. i went to work pa yesterday...when i arrived, there were only a couple of us who came to work...such martyrs...stoopeed peeps. hehehe!

last night...i slept early..daaamn, im getting used to waking up early na rin...for the past couple of days, i wake up even before my alarm goes off. ayus ah! ako ba to?! tapos, for the past few days, im always early for work...daaaaamnnn..what's happening to me?!?!?! hahaha!

a lot has been happening to me lately..and im really happy that everything is falling into place for me. dammit...there indeed is light at the end of every tunnel.

boooooorrreedddd....

currently listening to: jeff buckley - everybody here wants you

haaay,..im really freaking bored with work...for the past week or so im just reading on different stuff here. i hope i remember everything when i need to get to "real" work.

hmmm everything seems happening so fast nowadays...we have a gig on friday at palm beach at the fort...my sis is also trying to get us in the ICA variety show (astig! muhkang may bayad pa!)...there's the bembang prod on sept 17 and oct 8...and the brent thingy sometime in october... :D its not im complaining...in fact, i want it...i want more.

this thursday, we'll try to finish up a new song. one of the tagalog crap i came up and lara fixed. hehehe!

sooooooooo if you guys know of any gigs wherein we could play, please let me know. :D don't worry...we dont bite...but we can sure kickass. :D

thanks!

currently listening to: kjwan - bracelet

wow! last night was one helluva gig! thanks for making our first gig a huge huge success. :D may mga sabit kami pero it was pretty ok nonetheless. :D sobrang thank you talaga. it meant a lot.

watch out for the next prod...oct 1. @ saguijo.

the road to world domination begins tonight...

currently listening to: eraserheads - light years

tonight marks the first gig of sc. shet! i hope we do really good. i talked to monty last night (of mayo) and he said that there will be a&r reps from EMI and sony. hahaha! wishful thinking eto...pero malay mo diba?! i just hope we dont disappoint our friends! im going out there and going to have fun. whatever happens will happen.

last night was quite scary...when we jammed, all of us made a mistake at some point or another in our first song. hahaha! nooooooooo!!! bakit ngayon lang lumalabas ang mga yan?!

anyways...after everything was settled...we got everything right. tonight..dapat isang pasada lang swak na lahat!

ey, if you're going tonight...try to listen to our originals. i think they're really worth listening to.

and on the 3rd day...

currently listening to: story of the year - anthem of our dying day

haaaaaaay...i hope i survive the week. this is my 3rd day at work and im kinda bored already. i have tons of documents to read but what the heck..that's my job!

hassle. i was late today because of the traffic...its unexplicably much "trafficker" today than the past 2 days. hassle..bawas kagad sa sweldo! i left my cell and yosi inside the car pa...sumakit pa tiyan ko ng malupet kanina...argh! whatta way to start the day.

last night was one helluva practice sesh...jc was lively, rica had her sticks flying everywhere, i jumped up and down...and lara...well, as usual she was great. (although nagmintis nga lang sa ibang parts ng onti...ayos lang yan!) im sure as hell excited about the 20th. one more jamming sesh and we're all set.

nuod kayo!

astig? astig!

and on the 3rd day...

currently listening to: story of the year - anthem of our dying day

haaaaaaay...i hope i survive the week. this is my 3rd day at work and im kinda bored already. i have tons of documents to read but what the heck..that's my job!

hassle. i was late today because of the traffic...its unexplicably much "trafficker" today than the past 2 days. hassle..bawas kagad sa sweldo! i left my cell and yosi inside the car pa...sumakit pa tiyan ko ng malupet kanina...argh! whatta way to start the day.

last night was one helluva practice sesh...jc was lively, rica had her sticks flying everywhere, i jumped up and down...and lara...well, as usual she was great. (although nagmintis nga lang sa ibang parts ng onti...ayos lang yan!) im sure as hell excited about the 20th. one more jamming sesh and we're all set.

nuod kayo!

astig? astig!

time to get back to work

currently listening to: suspicious character - fed up/that won't do

huwaaaaat!?!?!?! im going back to work again tomorrow...noooooooo!!! im still savoring my life as a bum. hehehe! but then again, i could sure use the money. :D i dont have any cash left...dammit, i even used up my savings already.

last night, berdy and i went to ron's b-day bash. sarap ng pagkain. too bad i was quite full already because i had dinner with my family earlier during that evening. lotsa lotsa august celebrants...lotsa lotsa partees...lotsa lotsa booze! :D mark, painom ka...you're up next!

the village

currently listening to: mayonnaise - bakit pt. 2

last night i watched "the village" with a couple of friends...naknangweteng!! yun na yun?! gerdamit. pero ayos lang. i think i just expected more. hehe!

weird but as i was lying on my bed yesterday i realized a couple of things...
1. our first evah gig is less than a week away...
2. how stchupeed i have been...diba berds?!
3. im going to start working again in 2 days...nooooooooooooo!!!
4. how great it is to be a bum.
5. i really wanna be a rakstar!
6. i need to spend a considerable amount of money to fix my car's exhaust system and have it repainted...gerdamit!
7. inom tayo!

banding!

currently listening to: bridge - kahit na

last night we had another jamming sesh...after that we went straight to "for the road" at the fort (sans jc...as usual...tsktsktsk!). astig. tagal na naming walang ganitong sesh. first time pa with rica...we never noticed na it was already 4am! hahaha! everybody was letting it all out. we were telling each other how lucky we are to have ourselves as bandmates...even if we come from different musical backgrounds and we each listen to a specific genre (lara - emo, rica - metal, jc - old school. hahaha! just kidding...grunge, rock, new wave. me - rock, alternative, emo) we all are happy with the music we are playing and making. rica made me really happy last night when she said that i was good at the guitar. jc, just a few minutes ago, told me that i learn fast and i have a good feel for the guitar. thanks guys. thanks. i know im not technical at it and i never will be but i make up for it at the other aspects of playing.

the three of us also realized that being in the band made us better musicians...lara realized that she nows hear all of the instruments in a song...rica hasnt played drums for over a year but dammit, she can really play and hold her own (from miles away na yan! hehe!). as for me, wala. mas madali ko na nakakapa yung kanta ngayon. astig talaga. natutuwa ako sa sarili ko. :D jc, pusang hilaw ka! next time, wala ka ng excuse na hindi sumama! kukurutin kita ng malupet sa singit kung di ka ulit sumama! :D ahaaay!

basta...watch out for us world! we're about to fuckin conquer you with our music!

see you all at the 20th. we're gonna fuckin rock the place. pramis!

taking it one day at a time...

currently listening to: sponge cola - jeepney

whew...i just watched 2 straight DVDs i bought from GH earlier this evening. first on the playlist was lindsay lohan's confessions of a teenage drama queen. the only reason i bought this is because of lindsay. bwehehe! ganda niya eh! ayun...parang mean girls din pala.the 2nd movie i watched was trainspotting. lara told me to watch this movie so when i saw it, i bought it. well, it was ok. ok, it was a good movie...and as usual, it made me think again. haaay...tangna, i think i need to stop thinking about things and take things one day at a time. people always tell me to let my mind take control over myself...but its not easy. they always say im too emotional...i always get carried away by my emotions...i always let it rule me. how? sometimes, i feel numb from all the feelings that i feel (however mixed they are)...but there are days that it feels so fresh. it feels like it just happened a few minutes ago.

wait. dont get me wrong...this is not about my ex anymore. sorry guys...this aint about her no more.

its time for another song...this is one of my faves from hiraya. a song that suits my mood now... myke! idol ka talaga!

hiraya - 'san libong itim na dahon
marahil ika'y nadapa
sa katotohanang inabot
na sa iyo'y kapusukan at pakla
ang gapas ng panahon

kung ang katauha'y sinakluban
ng sanlibong itim na dahon
sunugin and lahat ng ito't
palayain ang kaluluwa

sa palad mo'y nakaukit
salin-lahing daloy ng kaisipan
walang tigil na hinagpis
at tanging galaw ng mga kamay

ngunit kapilas ng pag-unawa
ang basbas ng karanasan
kahit tila pangunguling ng diyos
ang habi ng kapalaran

old friends

weeeeiiiirrrddddd...i slept at around 11:30 pm last night (yep! you heard me right...that's 11:30...aga noh?!) but i work up at around 11:00am this morning. wow! talk about resting! hehehe! i haven't slept that long in ages! :D

i went to stag earlier this afternoon to get something for my new work. this is one of the last times i'm gonna be back there because i'll start working next week in makati. whoa! corporate crap na ako! :D bwehehehe! ayun. i saw new peeps...hope they do well. condolences po! hehe! :D

after going to stag, i went to UP to meet an old friend of mine. astig. its been a long time since i last saw her and i was quite happy we got to catch up with what's happening with our respective lives. funny thing, this girl was the one who really wanted to hit me on the head for staying put with my work and being contented with my life...ayun, so i told her finally...finaaaalllyyyy...i have a band and i resigned a little over a month ago. tuwang tuwa...nilibre tuloy ako! hahaha! ayus! thanks steph. i owe you one..big time. :D thanks for believing in me.

later tonight is the "despedida" party of erwin. ayus. tatlo lang ata kami ni erwin at berdy ang pupunta dun. pero oks lang, more for me! astig! bon voyage dude. hope you make it to the states and back safely...dont forget my friggin' pasalubong aite?!

damn...my stomach is growling...i need to have dinner. ciao!

aaaahhhh...home at last!

last night, me and my rexona friends (erwin, berdy, zo, and tomgutz) went to fontana to celebrate Roj's birthday. astiiiig! daming tao...sa sobrang dami, we had to rent another villa. hehehe! daming toma! daming pagkain! tangna, lumalakas na ako uminom! si mark, nasuka...ako, hindi! astig ang johnny walker! bwehehe! :D Happy Birthday fafa Roj!!!

the experience made me miss college all the more...there were a lot of college peeps there (although some of them are not really close to me)...but the fact of the matter is...i havent seen some of them since college...and it was quite fun to mingle with them again (feeling close ampota!) hehe!

haaaaaaay...one week to go 'till i get to work again...nooooooooooooo!!!! :(

the text message that started it all...

i woke up to the sound of my phone this morning. i felt really bad because i started everything thinking it was just a stchupeed joke. oh well...sorry guys.

later today, i'll have a "technical test" at globe. whoa! teka...easy guys...im having a hard time deciding where to go na nga eh..tapos dadami pa yung options ko?! hahaha..eassyyyy!!! ayun..my dad is joining the bandwagon in trying to convince me to go to sales...astig talaga. what's up with me and sales?! anyways...ill see what happens. my problem with the sales thingy is that i will be required to work during saturdays... :( bummer.

can't wait for our jamming later...lara told me last night that she can already sing "mother mother" by tracy bonham....aaaaaaastiiig! we're gonna try and jam on it tonight. if all goes well, we'll include it in our line up for the bembang! prod.

ciao! lunch time! :D

for the road!

aaayus! may bago na kaming hang out spot. :D cheap food..cheap beer...nice, simple place... :D for the road at the fort! P90 for a bucket of beer...P90 for a plate of sisig. :D astig!

the race, the headlights, and the good deed

whoa! when i arrived home last night the maid handed me an envelope which contained a CD. she said it was from RJ...i was quite surprised that RJ Oca of Violent Playground sent me a CD! astig! he sent me a cd of violent playground's new song (the race). galing pa rin nila. he said that Jerome of the Mongols played the guitars in this track and the bassist of DIRT helped them out too. this shit is rare stuff eh. :D hehehe!

anyways...the song's really nice RJ! astig ang violent playground...my favoritest local band before...and still will be my favoritest local band! "lets start a revolution now!"

yesterday was quite a busy day for me...i had to have my car fixed again...the reason there was a kalampag was the muffler was already cut! pucha..now how the fuck did that happen?! haaay...wala...commuting is hard but maintaining a car is much much harder and more expensive! aaaand..since i was at it...i decided to go to banawe to have my headlights fixed. dammit...i just got my lights fixed a few months ago...now, the sockets are all burnt so i had to replace each one of them...after a few tests, the electrician found out that the line is defective..that's why one of them doesnt light up properly...since it was already 7-ish..i decided to fuckin stop with the crap and go home instead. :D

haaaaay....one good deed i did yesterday: i went to total in ortigas and told the gas boys to put P500 worth of gas in my tank. so i handed them a P500 bill and after a few mnutes, one of them came up to me and gave me my receipt and "change". soooo....without any hesitation, i returned the money to them and told them that i gave them P500...not P1000. damn...i wish something really good happens to me for this...i dont have money yet i still refuse to take what is already given to me...tsktsktsk...there must be something wrong with me...bad...really bad! :D

emo mode

currently listening to - the used - blue and yellow

damn. i couldnt sleep last night. something was really bothering me. i had no one to talk to...its a good thing i brought something home from duday's party.

tangna..kalokohan talaga to. di ko alam kung bakit ako nagkakaganito...

putangina. intermission muna...

sugarfree - kwentuhan

kanina pa tayong magkasama
umaga na pala
maya maya lang ay may araw na
kahit tayo'y pagod, buong mundo ay tulog
ikaw at ako,
dirediretso lang na walang pakialam

kwentuhan lang...wala namang masama
oh, usap lang, ibaon muna sa limot ang lungkot

tatawa tayo sabay seryoso
unti unti kang nakikilala,
ang sarap sarap mo palang kasama
dat kasi, tahimik ka lang palagi
ngunit ngayong gabi,
parang kay rami rami mo nang sinabi

kwentuhan lang...wala namang masama
oh, usap lang, ibaon muna sa limot ang lungkot

...dahil gusto kitang makilala't makasama

umaga na...tulog ka na...
kay himbing mong managinip
kay sarap sarap mong umidlip
uwi na kaya ako? o dito muna siguro?
samahan muna kita,
dahil parang ayaw mong mag-isa

samahan ka...wala namang masama
kung samahan ka,
hanggang lungkot ko'y makatulog din

aposento

currently listening to: sugarfree - martir

whoa! whatta night we had last night...wierd shit...i never expected it to be that way...well, it was duday's birthday last monday but she had her party just last night. at first, i was quite hesitant to go but eventually, berdy got the better of me. sooo he picked me up and we went to aposento.

when we got there, erwin was unusually emo. "astig status mo sa ym at bulletin board mo sa friendster ah! screaming infidelities! yezzzz!" was the first thing i blurted out when i saw him. hehehe...oooops...i think he was really emo. :D

so, after a couple of glasses of vodka, mudslide, beer, and some pica-pica...we were already talking some serious shit. berdy and erwin had their own discussion...and based on what i heard, it was about relationships and how shitty girls can be...mark and i had our own too...and it was kinda funny because we were talking about the same shit. so we all decided to remove one of the tables so we can all talk to each other. les then joined us and we all had something to say about being in a relationship, girls, and other not so sensible stuff. hehehe...all les could do was smile. sorry les! :D anyway, i just realized something. all these years talking to mark about how to handle women, relationships, and break-ups....i should've fuckin' listened to his advice and i should've done what he was always "preaching". but i guess, if that's how you are...then that's how you are. anyways...its really hard to explain and im not in the mood...pucha, just get the freaking point! :D

i was kinda happy last night cause we havent had a session like that for a long long long time...the old gang, together again...drinking...talking about the things we all are going through or have at least gone through at one point or another in our lives - love. shhheeeesssshhhhhh...cheezzzzzyyyy! pero ganun talaga eh...wala lang. nakakamiss lang talaga. pero berds, never ko talaga namiss mga LOSER Gs natin!...and i guess mark will say the same shit too. loser pucha! hehehe!

astig! in a few hours, we will have another jamming sesh. i hope everything goes well. we're really practicing for the upcoming bembang! prod. yun lang. :D

teka...di ako emo today?! astig ah! hehehe...